you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he puts the penis in happiness.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
this just has baby written all over it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
