just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
