u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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