We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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