yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
