R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
People in love make me want to vomit
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
