it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
