Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
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