His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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