Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
