why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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