Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
