somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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