Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I need a burrito and a hug.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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