Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
