What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
