I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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