i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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