She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
