saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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