i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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