I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
