i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it was like eating out sand paper
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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