Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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