i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
