i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
