Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
