PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
