So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
