Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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