Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
