I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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