just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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