Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
they're like a gay fantastic four
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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