So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Found your dick twin last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
