I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
