I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
