We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
