Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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