I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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