If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
