I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
accomplished twins. life is a go
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
