I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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