apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
