i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
