I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Randomize
