Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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