Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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