Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
