How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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