Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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