Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Acid is not a monday night drug
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
