some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
