I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
