So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
