I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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