Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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